{"id":678,"date":"2026-09-10T19:36:46","date_gmt":"2026-09-10T17:36:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.erikamerjava.cz\/?page_id=678"},"modified":"2026-09-11T09:15:20","modified_gmt":"2026-09-11T07:15:20","slug":"teraz","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.erikamerjava.cz\/index.php\/teraz\/","title":{"rendered":"Teraz"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ni\u010d nie je vz\u00e1cnej\u0161ie ne\u017e okamih, ktor\u00fd pre\u017e\u00edvam teraz. A pritom sa neust\u00e1le obraciam niekam do minulosti, alebo bud\u00facnosti. A to, \u010do je teraz, nevn\u00edmam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nevn\u00edmam ako cez zatvoren\u00e9 okno v mojom vinohradskom byte spievaj\u00fa vt\u00e1ky. Ak\u00e1 sila to mus\u00ed by\u0165, ke\u010f ich po\u010dujem aj cez zatvoren\u00e9 okno.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sed\u00edm tu a prem\u00fd\u0161\u013eam, \u010do by som nap\u00edsala. Ale ve\u010f p\u00ed\u0161em. P\u00ed\u0161em bl\u00e1boly, ale je to teraz. Lebo ni\u010d in\u00e9 nem\u00e1m. Nem\u00e1m ani bud\u00facnos\u0165, ani minulos\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stra\u0161ne z\u00e1vid\u00edm \u013eu\u010fom, ktor\u00ed vedia \u017ei\u0165 v pr\u00edtomnom okamihu, ktor\u00ed napn\u00fa v\u0161etky svoje sily pre to, aby \u017eili teraz, aby mohli spieva\u0165, tancova\u0165, hra\u0165, nen\u00e1vidie\u0165, milova\u0165. Ktor\u00ed aj cez cez v\u0161etky svoje pochybnosti o sebe, aj ke\u010f nevedia kto s\u00fa, pre\u010do s\u00fa, na\u010do s\u00fa, vedia sa vzoprie\u0165 a v t\u00fato sekundu, ke\u010f p\u00ed\u0161em to jedin\u00e9 p\u00edsmeno, sa vedia nep\u00fdta\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2026to, \u017ee nem\u00e1m olej do petrolejovej lampy a sed\u00edm pri rozsvietenom umelom svetle, to \u017ee mi hor\u00ed jedin\u00e1 svie\u010dka, aj ke\u010f by ich mohlo by\u0165 viac, to \u017ee som si nepustila Louisa Armstronga, je pr\u00e1ve tak, ako plynie t\u00e1to chv\u00ed\u013ea\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Vst\u00e1vam a idem vlo\u017ei\u0165 c\u00e9d\u00e9\u010dko do prehr\u00e1va\u010da, aby som si spr\u00edjemnila ve\u010der. Poh\u00e1r bieleho v\u00edna na stole. Chyst\u00e1m sa z neho napi\u0165. Stalo sa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mala by som vyhodi\u0165 such\u00e9 kvety, vraj ber\u00fa energiu. Napadlo mi. Ale u\u017e som inde. Prem\u00fd\u0161\u013eam, \u010do in\u00e9ho by som nap\u00edsala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nemus\u00edm p\u00edsa\u0165, ale chcem p\u00edsa\u0165, chcem vytrieska\u0165 z tejto chv\u00edle nie\u010do vz\u00e1cne. Nechcem si zapn\u00fa\u0165 telev\u00edziu a pozera\u0165 sa na film. Chcem sedie\u0165 pri hudbe, pri nejakom blues\u2026U\u017e idem. Idem vymeni\u0165 c\u00e9d\u00e9\u010dko v prehr\u00e1va\u010di\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mus\u00edm zachyti\u0165 moment. Preblesklo mi hlavou, ke\u010f som h\u013eadala vhodn\u00e9 CD. Na\u0161la som Ray Charlesa a teraz po\u010d\u00favam Giorgiu. D\u00e1vam si \u010fal\u0161\u00ed d\u00fa\u0161ok v\u00edna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Neviem ako \u010falej. M\u00e1m to\u013eko my\u0161lienok. Len viem, \u017ee chcem pre\u017ei\u0165 tento okam\u017eik naplno a \u017ee v\u0161etko in\u00e9 je zbyto\u010dn\u00e9, \u017ee vym\u00fd\u0161\u013ea\u0165 je zbyto\u010dn\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">T\u00fa\u017eim sa nau\u010di\u0165 len by\u0165 a vn\u00edma\u0165, pohr\u00fa\u017ei\u0165 sa do najmen\u0161\u00edch detailov tohto momentu, ktor\u00fd nikdy nebol, nikdy nebude, nikto ho nemohol a nebude m\u00f4c\u0165 pre\u017eit, len ja v tejto chv\u00edli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Asi toto je jedine\u010dnos\u0165. Rovnak\u00e9 neexistuje a mne jedine\u010dn\u00e9 unik\u00e1 medzi my\u0161lienkami. Je mi to ve\u013emi \u013e\u00fato.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Skon\u010dila Giorgia a \u010dak\u00e1m, ak\u00e1 bude \u010fal\u0161ia pesni\u010dka. Nepozn\u00e1m ich po\u010fla n\u00e1zvu. Urputne sa sna\u017e\u00edm zachyti\u0165, \u010do je. Ale to nejde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lebo \u010doko\u013evek zaznamen\u00e1m, prejde chv\u00ed\u013ea, ke\u010f u\u017e mysl\u00edm na nie\u010do in\u00e9, alebo nie\u010do in\u00e9 sa deje, a ja p\u00ed\u0161em \u010do bolo p\u0159ed chv\u00ed\u013ekou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Je to tak st\u00e1le? \u017de s t\u00fdm momentom oneskorenia pre\u017e\u00edvame to, \u010do sme u\u017e pre\u017eili, alebo ako to vlastne je?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">C\u00edtim sa pr\u00edtomne, \u017ee p\u00ed\u0161em, lebo chcem presne pop\u00edsa\u0165, na \u010do mysl\u00edm, ak\u00e9 m\u00e1m pocity. Len\u017ee pocit, ktor\u00fd m\u00e1m teraz, ke\u010f p\u00ed\u0161em, u\u017e je in\u00fd, ktor\u00fd bol, ke\u010f som c\u00edtila to, o \u010dom p\u00ed\u0161em.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Asi to nem\u00e1 zmysel. Chcem zachyti\u0165 pr\u00edtomnos\u0165, aby ni\u010d z toho, \u010do tu znamen\u00e1m, nebolo kli\u0161\u00e9, nebolo falo\u0161n\u00e9, ale tak, ako to je. So v\u0161etk\u00fdm, so mnou, s t\u00fdm, \u010do som, aj ke\u010f asi neviem, kto som.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chcem sa nau\u010di\u0165 pre\u017e\u00edva\u0165 teraz\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pozer\u00e1m sa na obr\u00e1zok, ktor\u00fd som dostala k narodenin\u00e1m vo Franc\u00fazsku od Jana. Cel\u00fd biely. Ako sa vol\u00e1 odborne \u0161t\u00fdl, ke\u010f sa preplietaj\u00fa medzi sebou v\u00fdstri\u017eky s ma\u013ebou?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Je to moja jedin\u00e1 hmatateln\u00e1 spomienka na Jana, kter\u00fd u\u017e nie je. Ale je tu so mnou, s t\u00fdm obr\u00e1zkom. Stal sa s\u00fa\u010das\u0165ou m\u00f4jho \u017eivota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pod n\u00edm je moja fotka, zpred desiatich rokov. Vyzer\u00e1m na nej stra\u0161ne zranite\u013ene. M\u00e1m ju rada. Ale nech\u00e1pem, pre\u010do vystavujem sama seba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">V tom istom r\u00e1me, za prieh\u013eadn\u00fdm sklom, je mal\u00fd obr\u00e1zok Prahy od pan\u00ed R\u016f\u017ei\u010dkovej. Ru\u0161\u00ed m\u00e1 hlasn\u00e1 hudba Ray Charlesa. Idem ju st\u00ed\u0161i\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Na \u013eavej strane je cylinder a anjelsk\u00e9 kr\u00eddla. Na fotke, ktor\u00fa fotil Milan, kde som s Vladim\u00edrom. On ako \u010dierny anjel a ja ako biely. Hrajeme spolu \u0161achy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fotka je opret\u00e1 o stenu a za \u0148ou obr\u00e1zok Marilyn Monroe hlavou dole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ktovie, \u010di tieto men\u00e1 niekomu nie\u010do povedia? Ke\u010f si to n\u00e1hodou bude niekto niekedy \u010d\u00edta\u0165. Milan, Vladim\u00edr, Jan, Marilyn\u2026Marilyn, to som sa pobavila.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A v\u013eavo od zar\u00e1movanej fotky anjelov je obr\u00e1zok, fotka z Montpellier, ktor\u00fa som k\u00fapila, ke\u010f som bola s Karlom na dovolenke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fotka dvoch \u017eien z tridsiatich rokov. Je stra\u0161ne prefl\u00e1knut\u00e1, videla som ju to\u013ekokr\u00e1t, v baroch, kaviar\u0148ach, ktor\u00e9 odkazovali na kaviarensk\u00fa atmosf\u00e9ru ju\u017en\u00e9ho Franc\u00fazska.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Zlatohned\u00fd r\u00e1m. Nerada by som o tieto veci pri\u0161la. Tvoria m\u00f4j \u017eivot. Raz nebud\u00fa, je mi to jasn\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A\u017e nebudem, nikomu to ni\u010d nepovie. V\u0161etko od\u00edde so mnou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">P\u00ed\u0161em po slovensky. \u010eal\u0161\u00ed d\u00fa\u0161ok v\u00edna. Idem si zap\u00e1li\u0165 cigaretu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pozer\u00e1m na slamen\u00fd klob\u00fak, ktor\u00fd mi dala Lucka. Ve\u013emi sa mi p\u00e1\u010dil, tak mi ho darovala. M\u00e1m chu\u0165 si ho da\u0165 na hlavu. Idem\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">U\u017e ho m\u00e1m na hlave. V indick\u00fdch \u0161at\u00e1ch zo sek\u00e1\u010da, s klob\u00fakom od Lucky a \u010diernych pono\u017ek\u00e1ch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Podlaha je e\u0161te studen\u00e1. Za\u010d\u00edna jar. Je prv\u00fd m\u00e1j.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mala by som by\u0165 s niek\u00fdm, pobozkan\u00e1 pod stromom. Ale pr\u0161\u00ed a nikto, kto by ma pobozkal, nie je.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ale nez\u0165a\u017eujem si. Je to predsa ako to je a ve\u013ek\u00ed mudrci vravia, \u017ee to \u010do je teraz, je najlep\u0161ie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pripad\u00e1m si d\u00f4le\u017eit\u00e1 ako spisovate\u013eka. \u010eal\u0161\u00ed d\u00fa\u0161ok v\u00edna. No a teraz t\u00e1 cigareta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Vraciam sa na za\u010diatok toho, \u010do som nap\u00edsala. Ale ne\u017e si to p\u0159e\u010d\u00edt\u00e1m, d\u00e1m si kone\u010dne t\u00fa cigaretu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Za\u010d\u00ednam ma\u0165 pocit, \u017ee tento okamih nepremrh\u00e1vam, lebo p\u00ed\u0161em, zaznamen\u00e1vam, zachyt\u00e1vam. Ale asi by som ho mala \u017ei\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Len\u017ee neviem, \u010do to je.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mo\u017eno to, \u017ee po\u010d\u00favam Ray Charlesa, m\u00e1m zap\u00e1len\u00fa jednu svie\u010dku pri umelom elektrickom osvetlen\u00ed, klob\u00fak od Lucky na hlave, a chyst\u00e1m si kone\u010dne zap\u00e1li\u0165 cig\u00e1ro, je ono.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Som sp\u00e4\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To\u013eko my\u0161lienok, \u010do mi pre\u0161lo hlavou, k\u00fdm som z okna na\u0165ahovala a vyfukovala dym z cigarety. Pozerala som sa na mraky, na Pet\u0159\u00edn a vravela si, \u017ee u\u017e to nikdy takto neuvid\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u017de to uvid\u00edm, sn\u00e1\u010f, ale inak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">C\u00edtim sa pln\u00e1 z\u00e1\u017eitkov\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pozer\u00e1m sa na svoje prsty, ktor\u00e9 k\u013a\u017eu po kl\u00e1vesnici netbooku. Pozer\u00e1m sa na prste\u0148, ktor\u00fd m\u00e1m po babi\u010dke. Na \u013eavej ruke. Vyzer\u00e1 ako z\u00e1snubn\u00fd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Milujem svoj dreven\u00fd st\u00f4l, ktor\u00fd sme k\u00fapili e\u0161te s Honzou v Libni, ke\u010f tam bol bazar n\u00e1bytku. Vzala ho voda. Neviem, \u010do tam je teraz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ale bazar tam u\u017e nie je. St\u00e1l 1200 kor\u00fan a m\u00e1m ho asi sedem rokov. Je star\u00fd, ale nerada by som sa ho vzdala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dop\u00edjam d\u00fa\u0161ok bieleho v\u00edna a idem si dolia\u0165 mal\u00fd zbytok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cel\u00fd m\u00f4j \u017eivot je zlo\u017een\u00fd z t\u00fdchto okamihov, ale teraz, ako to p\u00ed\u0161em, to vn\u00edmam. In\u00e1\u010d nie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ale mo\u017eno, niekedy. Neviem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Viem len to, \u010do je teraz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A u\u017e nechcem p\u00edsa\u0165.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Koniec.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Erika Merjav\u00e1<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ni\u010d nie je vz\u00e1cnej\u0161ie ne\u017e okamih, ktor\u00fd pre\u017e\u00edvam teraz. A pritom sa neust\u00e1le obraciam niekam do minulosti, alebo bud\u00facnosti. A to, \u010do je teraz, nevn\u00edmam. Nevn\u00edmam ako cez zatvoren\u00e9 okno v mojom vinohradskom byte spievaj\u00fa vt\u00e1ky. Ak\u00e1 sila to mus\u00ed by\u0165, ke\u010f ich po\u010dujem aj cez zatvoren\u00e9 okno. Sed\u00edm tu a prem\u00fd\u0161\u013eam, \u010do by som [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-678","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":7}},"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 5.0.3 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ni\u010d nie je vz\u00e1cnej\u0161ie ne\u017e okamih, ktor\u00fd pre\u017e\u00edvam teraz. A pritom sa neust\u00e1le obraciam niekam do minulosti, alebo bud\u00facnosti. A to, \u010do je teraz, nevn\u00edmam. Nevn\u00edmam ako cez zatvoren\u00e9 okno v mojom vinohradskom byte spievaj\u00fa vt\u00e1ky. Ak\u00e1 sila to mus\u00ed by\u0165, ke\u010f ich po\u010dujem aj cez zatvoren\u00e9 okno. Sed\u00edm tu a prem\u00fd\u0161\u013eam, \u010do by som\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.erikamerjava.cz\/index.php\/teraz\/\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"generator\" content=\"All in One SEO (AIOSEO) 5.0.3\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"cs_CZ\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Erika Merjav\u00e1 -\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Teraz - Erika Merjav\u00e1\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ni\u010d nie je vz\u00e1cnej\u0161ie ne\u017e okamih, ktor\u00fd pre\u017e\u00edvam teraz. 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